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Joined: Fri Aug 24, 2007 1:00 am
Posts: 101
Location: Nearly There
Low-Carb Plan: Atkins-Protein Power-Me
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Karen Versus the Dietician - December 2002Last month I was admitted to the hospital for a hysterectomy. Some of you already know (and may be sick of hearing by now) that I fractured my spine on January 5th, 2002 and I then spent the next nearly five months alternating between bed-rest and a hellish body brace. After that was over, I underwent two debilitating lithotripsy procedures for kidney stones. By this time, I had actually incurred enough out of pocket medical expense to reach what is called the "stop loss" point. Basically, that means my insurance policy pays all other medical expenses that occur throughout the rest of this calendar year at 100%. You don't ever want to reach this point - trust me! But since I had, I figured I really should seek treatment for the extremely painful periods that have plagued me since I was a teen, and which have gotten progressively worse throughout the intervening years... (I think half the guys just scrolled ahead, did you feel that gale force wind??? ) 
ANYWAY ..... While discussing this surgery with my doctor, ahead of time, we thoroughly discussed the LC Way Of Life and the fact that the last thing I would need while in the hospital for surgery is any stress about my diet. She then orders a diabetic liquid diet for me, so I will get sugar free gelatin when I get that far, to be followed by a high protein, ketogenic, solid-food diet. Man, this is great, I am thinking, why do people always seem to complain that it is so hard to eat low carb in the hospital...?
Fast forward to me actually in the hospital waiting for surgery on the morning of October 16, 2002, when it just so happened on that same day that if you went to http://www.atkinscenter.com, the first face you saw on the front page as their success story for that week was ME!
As the nurses who are prepping me for surgery are commenting on my very good (on the low side of normal, across the board) vital signs, the subject of low carb naturally comes up, and I tell them about my Atkins story.... they run over to the computer at the nurse's station, look it up, and are so impressed that they print it out in its entirety and tape it to the inside jacket of my medical file! So far, so good...
Fast forward again, it's the day after the surgery, and I've set a new record for water consumption that helps them decide that I am ready to try some real food, and they then bring me - I kid you NOT - a plate for lunch that contained chicken-fried meatloaf (breaded meatloaf covered with a starchy gravy), a big pile of mashed potatoes with more gravy, a big white dinner roll, SAND horror of horrors margarine!, along with honey-glazed carrots.
I was sure it was a joke at first. but it wasn't.... and when I realized THAT, I was absolutely fit to be tied! Ketogenic diet, my you-know-what! 
Of course I had just come off a morphine pump and could barely hold my head up off the pillow without the room spinning, so the nurses got an extremely toned-down version of my opinion of the meal, but it was explicit enough for them to actually send for the dietician. (I told them that was a very bad idea, to just go get me a chef salad and some real coffee with real cream from the cafeteria, thank-you-very-much, and call it good, but I think they were kind of enjoying the whole thing by that point and anticipating the upcoming fireworks with some glee.)
Would you believe that, even after my doctor had prescribed a low carb plan for me in advance of my admission, the hospital dietician had the nerve to come in my room and stand over me shortly thereafter, and literally ask me - and I quote - if I was "aware that recent studies had proven that your brain requires 120-150 carbs per day to function optimally?"......
Good thing I was heavily sedated, is all I can say...
I squinted blearily up at her, then took a long leisurely drink of water followed by a slow, deep breath and then I finally asked, very calmly, if she was "seriously standing there telling me that for THREE YEARS my brain hadn't been functioning well? For three years??? during which time I had single handedly built a successful dot com, started my own business, secured a freelance newspaper column AND created, self-published, and marketed a popular cookbook?" ALL OF THIS, ACCOMPLISHED WITH IMPAIRED BRAIN FUNCTION? Wow.... I must be REALLY really GOOD, then, musn't I?!"
I then added with a rather haughty sniff that there actually was no such thing as an essential carbohydrate, because the body is perfectly capable of producing all of what it needs from protein and fat, and moreover, when forced to do so, it all runs MUCH more efficiently. Then I suggested that if she had any questions whatsoever on that particular metabolic process, she should and could consult my doctor, who had left very specific orders regarding my diet that she had "better" comply with, "right now", but that I was "so done" discussing it .... then I rolled over and just turned my back on her.
I must admit that the whole time I was fuming to and about her I was also thinking, 'lady I am going to get a lot of mileage out of this little scene, you have NO idea!' But actually she must have had an idea, because of my Atkins story being taped to the inside cover of my medical chart. She must have seen the orders, realized my doctor was supporting me in my chosen eating plan, and the whole situation must have just made her see red, is all I can think.... but what an extremely poor decision to send me that meal and then confront me, like that, and with that line, at that time....
I told my doctor afterwards that she should rebuke that dietician strongly, because if they were in the military, she'd be charged with at least insubordination, and at worst, mutiny! And that it was fortunate that I do not have a meek personality, that I am well-versed in the medical aspects of my chosen way of eating, and that I was able to handle the situation without totally freaking out on everyone. I meant it, too, about the reprimand... but I must say, I really think this was a sign of desperation... Losing people do tend to get desperate..... and the facts always win out, in the end...... hence her desperation to explain away little ole' low-carb-for-life and so-much-healthier-for-it ME !
So, do I really need to mention that I in fact got my chef salad and coffee with real cream, posthaste? I thought not!! 
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Tell me ... what fits in your schedule better: Exercising and prepping food for an average of an hour a day, or being/feeling dead 24 hours per day?
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