|
My "Three Senses of Happiness" for Life, Love, and Work
By Graeme Street
April 2004
As a personal trainer and fitness consultant you'd think that all of my skills, talents, and insights would focus around weight loss strategies, exercise programming and what exercises are best for flattening the midsection. Actually this notion couldn't be further from the truth! I find myself devoting most of my time and energy with my clients and customers to one key issue--their happiness!
Contrary to popular belief, all personal trainers and fitness instructors are not narcissistic, ego-maniacal exercise freaks. There are a few trainers that are a little over the top (to say the least!) but from my point of view, my job is much more personal than just teaching someone how to exercise. I listen, watch, and learn what my clients and customers need from me and from themselves--and then I help point it out to them. It's as simple as that. Now, mind you, I am not trying to make this sound oversimplified by any means. The art of listening and adding insight takes personal experience, patience, empathy, and a good deal of human understanding.
I believe to be good at my job of helping people become happier with their bodies, with their emotions, and with themselves as a whole, I must first strive to be happy with myself. I believe this is an integral component of what makes anyone in my position-- a trainer, a doctor, a therapist--good at what they do. How can I be objective in my rationale for helping others if I first can't help myself?
You may wonder if I am happy with my life. You bet I am! I truly am. Sure I have my bad days, but who doesn't. In fact, the bad days are part of what makes my life so great. If I didn't have bad days then all the good days would just seem ordinary.
I haven't always been happy with my life. In fact there were times in the past when I hated my life completely. But, over time I found out a few things that could make the hate go away. I found personal salvation and a small sense of hope that I could remain happy for the rest of my life in every way if I just applied three concepts. I want to share these miracles with you right now. Read them carefully, they hold more opportunity for happiness than you can imagine.
My First Sense of Happiness: Have Passion
This one for me was easy. I have always been a passionate and emotional person. (And don't think it hasn't gotten me in a lot of trouble on occasion!) Sometimes passion can be misconstrued as emotional and sometimes emotional can sometimes be misconstrued as weak. Hogwash! I believe 100% that the one true element of life that can never be taken away from us is our passion. You can't buy it or sell it. You can't wrap it in a nice little box and you can't find it at the store. It's inside you!
Now, there are a lot of different kinds of passions. I would like to discuss three of the them and demonstrate how important each one of them is for your long term happiness in life.
Having Passion for a Person(s)
The one true constant in the universe--LOVE. No matter how you try to explain it or understand it, it's the worlds biggest mystery. Love comes in many forms, but when you think about it love only comes in one level. It really is a black or white issue. You either love something or you don't. You can love your mother, your family, your spouse, your dog, your car. Having love for something is probably one of the most rewarding things I can think of.
The most obvious form of passion when it comes to love is the love for your partner. Your soulmate. Your best friend in life. My love for Kate is my passion. I don't have to think about it. It's just there. However, my passion for her is what makes our love special. We have an exceptional marriage because we have passion for one another. That means we devote ourselves to each other 100%. This is where passion turns into work. It is this bridge between love and passion that makes you either happy or unhappy in life.
Passion for someone without true commitment is simply obsession. I think people think just because they fall in love or are attracted to their mate that they have passion and that it will always be there. WRONG! Cultivating passion takes work, compromise, and objective thinking. If you can commit to these things with the person you have true passion and love for, you have one of the most important components for life-long happiness.
Having Passion for What You Do
Yes, yes. We all know that we should pick a job that we're passionate about. Tell that to the IRS, or your credit card company, or your electric bill. Unfortunately the irony of life and living happily must revolve around living in the real world. If our passion doesn't bring us monetary gains then it's not realistic, it's not economically viable-- it's just a hobby right? Because most of us are tied to this illusion of economic happiness as opposed to internal happiness, most people do not have passion for what they do for a living. They do it to survive!
Don't we tell our children that they can be anything they want to be when they grow up? That any dream they have can be fulfilled? What the heck happened?! I'll tell you what happened, we traded in our dreams for an expensive car, a new home theatre, a bigger house with more stuff in it for us to be unhappy with. We've forgotten about our passions, our dreams, our inner need for fulfillment! We traded them in for a life full of inanimate objects that at the end of the day DO NOT MAKE US HAPPY!
You must find that spark, that passion, that drive that makes all the hard times, and all the struggles worthwhile. I remember when I decided to leave my comfort zone in my old job and start my own business with Kate. I had it made in my old job. I had a huge client base that I had built up. I had a steady paycheck. I had insurance and paid vacations. I had what all of us think will make us happy...at least initially! But, you know what I didn't have? I didn't have passion! I wanted to be on my own. I wanted to make my own decisions. I wanted to breathe and pursue my true dreams and passions as an entrepreneur. So you know what....I did! I followed my passion and here I am writing to you on my own time, in my own office, about something I have passion about.
Have Passion for Yourself
The most important and misunderstood passion is passion for yourself. I just don't get why people don't want to love themselves more. I mean, aren't we the ones in control of what makes us happy or not? Don't we have the right and the privilege of making positive changes in our lives? We don't need permission. We don't have to ask to be happier with ourselves. We just decide to do it.
Easier said than done! Yes, we are our worst critics. Yes, no one is harder on you than you. But, no one has as much control over how you choose to feel than yourself. People look to a new pair of pants, or losing 10 pounds, or a new haircut to become happier with themselves. Instead, what we should all be doing is listening to ourselves. Trying to pinpoint our true sense of happiness. Not in what we do or in what we buy or what we own, but rather in who we are and what we like about ourselves.
Embracing what we are and having passion for sharing who we are with others is our first step towards personal growth and personal happiness. Focus on the positives, not the negatives. The negatives can always be changed, the positives will always be with us. Have passion for them!
My Second Sense of Happiness: Take Risks
Vincent Van Gogh wouldn't be the most revered impressionist in modern art today if he didn't take a few risks. In fact Van Gogh's epitomizes the entire theme of this article. He was a man of brilliant and sometimes fanatical passion for his work. So much so that while he was alive, his passion made his work a complete flop. No one paid him much attention. His work was too emotional, too thick and twisted for the perceptions of the time. However, today the risks Van Gogh took and the passion that he put into his work has made him the most well-known artist in history.
It was Van Gogh's willingness to listen to his heart and take risks that made him special. Unfortunately he was also certifiable and cut his own ear off. This is maybe where passion goes over the edge a little huh? My point is that without taking risks, one will never achieve greatness.
Thomas Edison said that most people give up just when they're about to achieve success. Because of this internal fear most of us have concerning risk, most of us never achieve our fullest potential. Imagine if Edison had stopped his experiments with creating the first light bulb after 234 failures. He would have missed his chance for personal vindication and self-fulfillment when attempt number 235 was successful.
I think that risk is the spice of life. Unfortunately the common dogma is that people are only truly happy if they achieve comfort. I think comfort is something for people that are dying or dead, not for people that are alive, healthy and living. If I hadn't taken a risk and asked Kate out on a date (even though she had a boyfriend at the time!) I wouldn't have found my soulmate. If I hadn't listened to my heart and followed her to Connecticut to pursue her passion for health and fitness at Springfield College, I wouldn't have gotten my job as a fitness consultant and found my passion for what I do. If we hadn't taken a huge risk and drained our savings account to move to Essex, Connecticut (a place we had passion for) then we wouldn't have had the privilege of meeting some of our most wonderful and trusted friends and clients.
Without risk I wouldn't be happy. Sure, I've taken risks that haven't paid off. That's part of the deal! If you aren't willing to accept that, then don't take risks. But be aware, you may never truly be happy as a result. I would rather take an educated risk to pursue passion and fail than live with regret. Regret is the foundation of unhappiness. To live without regret and take risks when necessary isn't cavalier, it's captivating! It's exciting. If something isn't hard and has absolutely no risk, then there is nothing to learn from it and therefore offers little ability to bring you happiness.
Take risks in love, in work, and in life and happiness will come. Don't wait for luck. There's no such thing. All that luck really is, is opportunity meeting risk and preparation. If you don't take risks and prepare for happiness, then the opportunity will never find you.
My Third Sense of Happiness: Be Committed
All the passion and all the risk in the world means nothing without commitment. Imagine if Lance Armstrong had decided that because he was unfortunate enough to get cancer that all of his passion for cycling wasn't important. Imagine if Lance hadn't put 110% commitment behind his passion for making a comeback into professional cycling and fulfilling his dream of winning the Tour de France. Imagine if he wasn't fully committed to taking the huge risk on his health and mental wellbeing of undertaking the most mentally and physically challenging sporting event in history.
Lance's passion and willingness to take a risk was only part of his success, but it has been his commitment to himself and the sport that has made him a five time Tour De France champion. (And hopefully a sixth!) Passion without commitment is fleeting. Risk without commitment can be down right life threatening!
If you want to be truly happy with your life. You must find your passion, be willing to take risks to make your passions a reality and most importantly you must make a true commitment to overcome the inevitable obstacles that get in your way. It doesn't matter if we're talking about losing weight, climbing a mountain, starting your own business, having a child, or having an ant farm. Every one of these criteria must be met.
Focus on these virtues and all of a sudden what kind of car you drive, what style clothes you wear, and what the weight on your bathroom scale reads doesn't make any discernible difference to your happiness.
-Graeme
_________________
Article By Graeme and/or Kate Street ~contact info not valid, websites gone~ Graeme and Kate first met as personal trainers at the Bay Club in Portland Maine and started an In-Home personal training business and a fitness media production business together. Graeme graduated suma cum laud in Nutrition and Exercise Physiology. Kate has a BA in Psychology and an MS in Health and Wellness. She holds over a dozen various fitness certifications, three through AFAA.
|
